L's Final Words To Watari

L

I walked into the dimly lit office that had become too familiar for my liking; I wasn't used to being in one place for so long, however, I was working on one of the most intricate and unusual cases involving a god-like serial killer, so I guess sometimes you have to make allowances. I stared into the room, making direct eye contact with its only inhabitant, Watari. Such a fantastic man, the man that had created what I am today. Without him, I'd probably –well, let's not talk about that just yet.  I trudged over to his desk and sat in my usual position in the chair next to him, however today it was a slightly more compact crouch than usual. I am not one to enjoy any form of bodily contact, so this makes me feel safer, much like a child will feel safe or comforted by a hug from their mother. I chewed softly on my thumb, and waited for Watari to speak.

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"Is something wrong, L?" His voice was soft; a reflection of the old man he had become.  

"Watari, there's something I need to discuss with you…" I began, not sure exactly how I would find the words to tell him of how I felt.  I looked at him momentarily, his face firm and fully attentive. He could sense this was serious, and I forced myself to avert my gaze, looking him in the eye would be too cruel once I start to say the words I needed to.

"I have a feeling… that this will be both of our final days alive." I held my breath, fighting the tears I had spent years concealing. His body relaxed slightly and I heard him sigh sadly.

"…You are sure?" He questioned, something he rarely does if I state something.

"98 percent." I replied. He half-laughed. I suppose that he found it humorous that in such a situation I could still use statistics to determine my certainty. An icy silence arose between us, adding to the already grim atmosphere.

"Watari, do you remember the 18th of July, 1986?" I asked, trying to break the ice.

"Yes, it was the day that I first took you to help me on a case, your first case." He had replied somewhat confused, and so I allowed myself a chance to explain.

"Yes, it was a minor drugs raid taking place in New York, which we solved within 5 hours and 46 minutes, if I remember correctly. But it was also the first time I had heard the words 'I'm proud of you' since my mother died," he seemed to only be confused more, "Watari, that was the day that I became L. If it weren't for you, I would not be where I am today, and the world would probably be even more of a mess than it is now. You created L, Watari. You created me." I shifted slightly, then looked up at him.  He smiled and I responded in the same way.  He laughed quietly.

"Oh L, don't be so silly. I merely gave you a push to start you off. You created yourself" His eyes showed sincerity, but I read them as modest. Watari was probably the most humble person I had ever met, and that's what I loved about him; he was always thinking of others before himself, and for as long as I could remember, that was how he had always been.

"No… you supplied me with the best schooling, all the best equipment, anything I needed or wanted, you managed to get it for me. When I was a personal tutor to A, B, Mello, Matt and Near, I taught them the same way you taught me, so that they would become the best possible candidates to be my successors. When I took on the Kira case, you were the person who told me I could solve it, just like every other case I've ever solved. You have always been there for me, Watari, and I must apologise for something," a tear dropped onto the floor, allowing its sound to echo in the suspense, "I never thanked you for anything."

I didn't dare look at him, for crying was one of my biggest fears, and I never let people see me even the slightest bit weak, but I heard him edge towards me slightly, so that he could crouch over in order to see the majority of my face.

"L, You have always said thank-you, for everything-"

"But I never thanked you properly. I never told you how much you mean to me Watari. And that's something that I've come to regret; not saying how much I needed you as a father figure, or thanking you for being the only person to ever really care about me in my life-" at that point, my voice cracked, and I immediately burst into tears. I felt his arms wrap around me, one hand stroking my hair, the other rubbing my back to comfort me.

"I'm sorry, Watari, I'm so so sorry" I sobbed repeatedly, my breathing becoming frantic due to the unfamiliar emotion.

"It's okay, Lawliet, it's okay," the man hushed me, but I could feel a warmth on my shoulder, which told me that he was crying too. He pushed me away slightly so that he could look me in the eyes. "You made my life worth living, so I think that I should be thanking you." He smiled that legendary smile, the one he always used to do if I was ever upset as a child, then he hugged me once more. This was probably the last time I would ever know comfort or care, so I tried my best to savour the moment.  He let go of me, took a deep breath, then said "Go on, you need to get back onto this case. You'll want to do your best to solve this final case"

I rose up out of the chair, and wiped my dark eyes. I walked towards the doorway, but looked back one last time, knowing this would be the last time I ever saw the man that meant to much to me. We smiled simultaneously, and I felt it necessary to say the words I had prolonged for so many years. He was my colleague, my friend, and my father, so I felt it would only be right.

"I love you, Watari, and good-bye." And with that I left the room, ready to face my death.

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The room had become a deep red, and the monitors blank. That could have only meant that my assumptions were true; Watari had been struck by Kira. I didn't want to even consider what could have happened to him, but right now I needed to worry about other things.

"Everyone, the shiniga- "

I felt my heart stop. It was the most complicated feeling I had ever felt; a mixture of pain and an intense release. The spoon I was holding slipped from my grasp, and I could no longer control my actions. I didn't even feel my body collide with the cold polished stone floor. I looked up to see Light Yagami- no, Kira above me, supporting my dying being. His face almost seemed innocent, and would have remained that way had it not been for the glimmer in his eyes which he allowed to shine through momentarily: victory. And then, everything slowly faded to black…

My last thought was Watari, and how he had helped me through everything. He had been my saviour, he took me out of the orphanage and gave me a home, a career, a purpose. For that, I could never find words or actions worthy of expressing my thanks, but he knew anyway.

Kira had only killed me because I had solved the case. He had just found an easy way out by making me undergo a heart attack. So Kira, you can go on living in a cruel world with your twisted sense of justice, but really, I know that I am the true winner.